Would you rather be needed or chosen?
You’re there for someone because they need you. That means you’re helping them.
If the help is effective, they don’t need you anymore.
What then?
It’s not like with an ER doctor. If the doctor does their job, success is never seeing each other again.
In personal relationships, success is continuity in camaraderie, intimacy and trust. It is making each other better by bettering ourselves along the way. It’s giving and receiving honest perspectives toward betterment, without envy. It is knowing and being known - without offence, competition or judgment. It is unconditional love.
Isn’t it more of a compliment to be chosen from a place of fullness and respect, rather than to be needed, used to fill the holes?
It means those strong people see me and accept me as I am, while simultaneously believing in my potential and character enough to know they won't need to leave me.
This reliability provides the safety in which to try, fail, and try again in any arena of life. It’s not a relationship of convenience, doomed to fizzle.
Yes, there will be times and seasons where we need each other desperately.
To gather that harvest, to have those reserves in times of crisis, planting and cultivation must be done when the sun is shining.
The net to catch us is woven when individuals are healthy and full - by way of the choices to trust, attach, self-disclose and invest.
Resolute intention is a much more powerful guarantee than need.